. . . well good thing granny doesn't have a blog
I know, I know, but [please,] stay with me. . . I think I have a problem, more than a problem . . . A DISORDER: GPG (Gas Price Guilt). What is this terrible affliction? Due to the mutual hating of gas prices by all (seriously, an infant told me, yesterday, that he was trading in his tonka for a hybrid), every time I around my family and the topic of gas has been brought up, my parents immediately inquire as to how much gas was where I filled up my tank. I usually give one of two answers
1) I don't know
2) The wrong answer
In reality, number one is part of number two, but I will elaborate anyway. (1) My parents tell me that I need to be more aware of how I am spending my money, and then illustrate to me how much money I could have saved by driving out of my way (when my gas light is on [and probably has been on for 18 miles. . .]) to a certain gas station, and then I am overridden thinking about all of the things I could have bought with my extra five buxx (5 things at the DOLLA STO'.. if I brought my own change, a sweet pair of WAL-MART sunglasses or earrings, a shirt at rugged warehouse--if any of these stores want to contact me for advertising: jump on it.). (2) See number one, minus the "I need to be aware of how much money I spend," plus them gloating how they still know how to find sales better than their little girl, and stupid advice I have to listen to about gas prices, which often segways into ways I should live my life. . . as conversations with my parents usually do.
Either way, I leave the conversation upset about my [lack of] money, and annoyed because (as usual) I lose.
HOW DO I DEFEAT GPG??
Firstly, it is important that you realize that your self-worth is not tied to the price at which you filled up your tank (it is tied to the clothes you wear and your shitty music choices, of course). Secondly, pierce your face. All conversations from here on out can become about how stupid you are for adding a spare hole to your face, allowing the topic of gas prices just slide right by.
The conversations can go like this:
MOM: do you believe these gas prices? How much was it when you filled up?
SPAWN: I dunno (and mom, I do not care. I don't even know WHEN I last filled up, much less care about the price, over which I have no control)
MOM: You don't know? These are things you should take note of. It is wise to be careful with your money
SPAWN: What can you expect? I am dumb enough to have metal protruding from my face.
MOM: Good point.
DAD: I filled up at 2.63! How much was gas when you fueled up?
SPAWN: 2.75
DAD: HA! I saved two dollars on you. Not that I'm surprised.. does the hole in your eyebrow make it hard for thoughts to stay in your mind?
SPAWN: it really does.
Although your parents will undoubtedly be disappointed in you (as per usual if your life is entertaining/fun, whatsoever), at least it will be because of something you remember or care about (?), like the pain of needles jabbing into your skin. Plus, you'll get the bonus of having other people (young mothers, small children) avoid you, because facial piercings undoubtedly lead to the piercee becoming a rapist and/or murderer.
Although your parents will undoubtedly be disappointed in you (as per usual if your life is entertaining/fun, whatsoever), at least it will be because of something you remember or care about (?), like the pain of needles jabbing into your skin. Plus, you'll get the bonus of having other people (young mothers, small children) avoid you, because facial piercings undoubtedly lead to the piercee becoming a rapist and/or murderer.
Truly, a win-win situation.
If your grandparents would have sterilized their children, none of this would be a problem.
g$
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