Parents

I am not referring to my parents, although there are days that we should all hate them.

I am referring to the parents with young children, the parents that just LOVE to be parents, the parents that update you on things that Johnny-poops-his-pants does everyday, the parents that probably have a blog dedicated to their snot-nosed kid (it is the new baby book. don't you want to see the word through his eyes?)

BREAKING NEWS: Loving your kid will not make him any smarter than your dumb ass. Oh how I love to watch/hear a parent telling me how smart his/her child is while the child is simultaneously sticking his hand down his pants, or eating things off the floor.

Unless your kid is a true genius, and is doing things that I can't do (not counting fitting into small places; that's not a fair fight), I really do not care.

(this baby would qualify)

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2004/11/24/60minutes/main657713.shtml
(this kid is also an exception to the stupidity of most)

The higher the pedestal you put your spawn on now, the faller it will fall when it wrecks your car, gets (self or someone else) pregnant, and destroys all its already doomed brain cells drinking/drugging.

The younger the parent is, the worse the case is. I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT HOW GREAT YOUR LIFE IS WHEN YOU HAD A BABY AT 14. unless you are Lorelei Gilmore, your child is probably funked (kudos for approp language?), and will just continue the cycle of stupidity that you have prematurely started.

I guess it's cool that you love your kid and shit, but please do not try and make me love it too. I am sure it is cute (I think i was born without the female gene that makes babies look like anything but really small old men to me), but my cat is also cute, and it pisses in my bathtub.


Maybe it is rewarding to ruin one's body (and bank account) and unconditionally love (SERIOUSLY?? NO CONDITIONS ON LOVE??? wack.) something that may (if you are really, really lucky) mention you in its wedding speech (to some other dumbass, to continue the cycle of dumbass) and will probably (definitely) forget to get one a mothers' day card.

He/she will also probably wreck your car (hope you don't like BMWs!)

Someone pinpoint to me when the rewards start of being a parent (before or after you invest tons of money for it to go to school and get a drinking problem?), and then maybe I will understand why the hell someone provides and brags about their little creation.

I am still lost as to why someone thinks it is a good idea to have his/her DNA continue on to make more mistakes in the next generation.

STERILIZE YOUR CHILDREN. END THE CYCLE.

g$